The Very True Story of Fart Chips
Once upon a time, there was a girl living in a magical city. One of the things that made this city so special was the constant availability of fresh produce (that talked).
One day, the girl came across a bundle of kale that said to her, “Miss, won’t you take me home? I’ve always wanted to be a snack food but my brothers and sisters all laugh at me. I’m running away to find my true calling.”
Puzzled, the girl said to the Kale, “Well sure. You are such a lovely shade of green and so delicious already. I will gladly help you!” Away they went.
Recipe after recipe, the girl couldn’t fulfill the Kale’s dream.”You are so hearty and work so well sautéed that I can’t imagine you next to popcorn or potato chips.”
“That’s it!” the overexcited Kale replied. “You shall slather me in oil, salt and pepper and leave me to bake in a hot oven!” The Kale knew deep in its stalk that he was right. He would finally be listed in the Big Book of Snack Foods.
The girl was more uncertain. “Hmm, the oil does sound about right. But will you crisp? Will you still be delicious? I suppose it wouldn’t hurt to try.”
She took great care in washing and drying the Kale in his Final Preparation. She pre-heated her oven and tossed Kale in oil, salt and pepper. One final time she asked, “Kale, are you sure this is what you want? You’d be so delicious cooked in butter and red pepper flakes.”
“Yes. I am quite certain. I think you’ll be delighted with me when I’m baked.”
With a tear in her eye, the girl loaded Kale into the oven and waited.
When enough time had passed, she opened the oven and to her complete surprise, the Kale was right! He had transformed into a crispy, tasty snack food! She popped a leaf into her mouth and crunched and munched the night away, leaf after leaf.
After the excitement of a new discovery had worn off, she recoiled. “Oh my, what is that smell!” The next minute, the girl had fallen into a food coma before she was able to identify the smell’s origin.
The next day she awoke and left for a long journey across the kingdom. She brought more the kale on the trip, hoping the flavorful and healthy snack food would give her energy. Alas, the smell overpowered her carriage and she was forced to throw it out. From that day forward, the girl baked her Kale chips but was careful to share them so that not one leaf remained!
The End.
(This story may or may not be actually inspired by real life. If you’d like to enjoy your own nutritious and magical discovery, you can re-create this recipe from Apartment Therapy’s The Kitchn.)
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this is such a cute blog post! oh sweet kale.
Thank you! While writing it, I felt like I’d come a little unstuck. 😀
I make these all the time, especially in late summer when my CSA share can best be described as my weekly dose of more kale than I can ever possibly use!
My csa has me overwhelmed with turnips this go around. There’s a recipe for turnip chips that I’m going to try. Hopefully they smell better!
I made Kale chips today – so yum!
Also, just ran across a recipe to add a drizzle of apple cider vinegar to the mix, and can’t wait to try that next time.
Make it Balsamic vinegar and it’ll change you world!